Feelings of overwhelmed...so many things whirling around my head. So many responsibilities...so many things to be accomplished this day. Feelings of inadequacies...will I ever be enough? Can I raise these children the way that is pleasing to my Lord? Can I be the kind of wife that brings honor and glory to my King? I am tired. So very tired. My heart hurts. I feel so alone. Tears threaten to spill over...out of self-pity and self-despair.
Yet, I am reminded that this isn't about me. This life that God has given me to live. When I choose to focus on my problems, my chores, my to-do list, my my my...it takes the glory and majesty away from the KING OF KINGS and places the attention on "me". I don't want that...truly. Yet so many days are spent proving otherwise. I so often live self-centered...self-absorbed...and I fail. I fall. I loose focus completely. Life is but a breath...so short...in light of eternity, so small. But if I can change the focus off of ME...and place it on HIM...this small, short life has purpose greater than the deepest ocean, greater than the widest span, richer than the largest wealth. When I look only to HIM, CHRIST, and live my life waiting, watching, loving, listening, enjoying Him with all that I am...my life has meaning and peace that nothing can contend.
So, I choose this day to count...to number the graces that God has blessed me with! I will open my eyes to His mercies and goodness. I will praise Him instead of complaining about all that I "need to do...have to get done...or feel that life is pressing in too hard." God is so good and I will bask in that this moment. I will bring my hurting heart to the Lord and lay it down at His feet...so that I can be filled with His grace and shine forth His joy to the world! I must choose what feelings I will linger in...what emotion I will let control me today. And I choose God's grace...His goodness...His kindness...His Soverignty...I choose to rest in HIM...not me today!
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