My list is scattered, words are fewer and further between. Time has ebbed on without an utterance of thanks. Moments are lost with eyes closed, fists clenched tight. My heart has hurt, throbbed with pain unrelenting. Bitterness has begun to etch itself at the edge of my soul. Joy has lost light, slowly fading, almost snuffed out altogether.
Yet, under the ick and muck of sins most ugly blanket of self and filth, a flame still flickers, begging to catch wind. As I begin to peel back the layers of pride and self-absorption, the flame grows brighter. Thanksgiving begins to fall from my lips, slowly at first, tasting the sweetness of it’s words a fresh and a new. And as my buds remember the goodness, the flame jumps and dances across the dark night of my weary soul. The “thankfuls” start to pour out like a steady, soothing rain. And the words become prayer…and the prayer takes root! My eyes open wider and my hands are uplifted and I can’t keep silent for the joy is bursting forth!
And even though the page of my heart looks like a scribbled mess…the words all flowing without poetry or rhyme…my spirit is breathing in beauty healing. The words rush forth like a wild, untamed river in giant force…yet I can feel His peace as it settles over like a calm mountain spring, tucked away in the nook of His love. I can’t keep the praise contained. Thankful sets me free from the weight that crushes this precious gift of time and moments and beauty and life. I will name them again. I will see them. I will glory in the good they were given to be lived! Thanksgiving truly washes over me…and as I inhale her beauty, I will exhale her grace for all to hear and see!
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