The Process of Breaking…

Pride.  What a small little word that carries a lot of weight!  A word, that when paired with a heart, can result in nasty, ugly things.  How funny, that many people “take pride” in being humble?  What a completely ridiculous statement!  But I think we are all guilty of it. 

To be humbled by the mighty hand of God hurts something fierce!  When the Almighty breaks your heart into a thousand tiny pieces, when you have fallen so low that, when on your face in the miry muck, it is a struggle to even look up, it doesn’t feel very “good”.  But oh, the holiness of that moment!  B/c in that moment, you realize, it isn’t about me!  This life, this breath, this world I claim as my own, isn’t about me at all!  I am here to serve the purpose of my Creator.  Those words taste a bit bitter rolling off the tongue.  They go against everything my flesh tells me is true.  But then I read words like Luke 17:10 which says: “So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy slaves; we have done ONLY that which we ought to have done.’”  I am reminded that what is accomplished through these flesh and bones are only things that God enables me to do for His purposes.  He is Sovereign and in control. His ultimate plan for all humanity has little to do with my wish lists and selfish ambitions.  I would dare even say that my “to do” lists may stand as a hindrance at times for His master plan to unfold.  I don’t want to stand in the way.  I want to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit, even if what I feel He is calling seems inconvenient or “hard to swallow.”

I am being humbled this day.  My heart is broken and laid bare before the Lord and I am ashamed of the pride that has crept to the surface of my life.  Oh, but I will bask and delight in the forgiveness of my King.  He offers, and I will bow low and accept. 

To pray the prayer for humbleness seems spiritual and right.  But when it begins to take place, it is truly an unearthly experience.  B/c I would never wish this kind of humiliation and hurt on purpose.  But I know, with all faith in my great Lord, that it will bring about beauty and tenderness of heart that I have never before experienced.  So I am walking forward, on my knees, trusting in His holy process.